Free Capitalist Network - Community Archive
Mises Community Archive
An online community for fans of Austrian economics and libertarianism, featuring forums, user blogs, and more.

A day in the life of Ron Paul's America

rated by 0 users
This post has 5 Replies | 3 Followers

Top 500 Contributor
Posts 128
Points 2,945
Friedmanite Posted: Wed, Feb 13 2013 10:35 PM

Saw this on a forum somewhere.  Pretty hilarious.



6AM wake up to a terrible racket: with all zoning laws eliminated, a coal-fired power plant is being built next to your house

6:30AM Breakfast - 12 whole eggs cooked well to kill the salmonella

7AM Dig up some physical gold from one of your secret caches to pay for the day's expenses

8AM Drive to work, paying tolls every mile. You're delayed because some rich doods paid for exclusive access to the fastest route to your jerb today

9:30AM With the economy in ruins, your boss greets you with a pink slip.

10AM Walk back to your car, stepping over pox-ridden hags dying in the street, running occasionally to evade gangs of feral children armed with Saturday Night Specials

11AM Back at home, work on lawsuit against coal plant for damages to your QOL

3PM Submit suit against coal plant online to a judicial company, get an email response seconds later: "Ding!" You submit the suit to all the other judicial companies recognized in your area and get the same response. You write to them asking for an explanation and get an automated do-not-reply email. You scan their websites for customer service contacts, but are directed to use the same online form that resulted in your ding.

3:30PM You smoke a lot of weed to calm down and fall asleep

7PM You wake up in a haze and hear some noises in your backyard. Holy s**t, a gang with metal detectors is digging up your gold. You grab your trusty Barrett .50cal and tell them to gtfo. They respond by tossing a grenade through your window. You dive to safety just in time. Everything goes black.

10PM You wake up aching all over. Your gold and guns have been stolen. You dial up your police contractor for help, but they inform you that as you are behind on your payments they cannot help you.

11PM You find a well-trafficked street corner and start selling your ass to passersby. This is the first time for you, but it won't be the last.

  • | Post Points: 50
Top 200 Contributor
Posts 372
Points 8,230

That's anarchism for ya.

"Nutty as squirrel shit."
  • | Post Points: 5
Top 75 Contributor
Posts 1,612
Points 29,515

Wow.  Someone should make a movie out of this.

"The Fed does not make predictions. It makes forecasts..." - Mustang19
  • | Post Points: 20
Top 10 Contributor
Posts 6,885
Points 121,845
Clayton replied on Wed, Feb 13 2013 11:08 PM

Hear, hear! Thank God for the government, or else we'd all be getting fucked in the ass!

Clayton -
  • | Post Points: 20
Top 50 Contributor
Posts 2,439
Points 44,650
Neodoxy replied on Wed, Feb 13 2013 11:31 PM

After reading this, I discovered the light.

Government really is my friend!

At last those coming came and they never looked back With blinding stars in their eyes but all they saw was black...
  • | Post Points: 5
Page 1 of 1 (6 items) | RSS