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Senator Obama Introduces Legislation to Protect 'Community Organizers'

Chicago, IL—Democratic Senator Barack Obama today introduced legislation that would make “community organizers” a legally protected minority in the United States for affirmative action and equal employment. “This bill (S. 31337) effectively kills two birds with one stone,” Obama announced to a rousing ovation from his political state of Illinois. “It shows Governor Palin the might of community organizers that we will not be mocked lightly, but also that I can author a major piece of legislation.”

Senate Bill 31337, if approved by the House of Representatives and signed by the President, will legally protect anyone officially registered as a community organizer from being discriminated against in the employment process, from being fired, and will deliver reparations for the many years of being unappreciated for serving the public good. It has met with unanimous praise and glee on the part of Democrats across the nation.

“Governor Palin is a sweet woman,” said fellow woman Nancy Pelosi (D CA). “But she overstepped her bounds outside of the kitchen of politics when she disgraced community organizers in her speech [Wednesday, September 3rd].”

When reached for comment, Obama’s running mate, Joe Biden (D DE), said he found Palin’s comments as a gross and representative statement of the Republican party. “Just think about what she said,” Biden said, “and substitute any other unappreciated minority for ‘community organizer’. She wouldn’t say, ‘Being a white person is sort of like being a black person, except that you don’t steal,’ or, ‘Being a heterosexual is sort of like being a homosexual, except that you aren’t a ***.’ So why should Governor Palin be allowed to trample on community organizers, people who serve a vital social service? She shouldn’t, and we won’t let her.”

Biden also continued on to say this is just the first, landmark step on the path to Obama’s heralded presidency. “This is just the beginning of the end of the Republican party’s elephant-like stomping of civilization. The American public only has more world-changing legislation like they’ve seen today to look forward to.”

Local community organizers have responded enthusiastically to Obama’s new legislation. “When a community organizer is mocked, we are all mocked. That’s the human condition,” managed a local Chicago mom who made time to speak in between organizing events for her community this weekend and baking a cake in the mold of Barack Obama’s head. “This weekend we’re going to have a fundraiser. We’re going to have community organizers speak about their roles as community organizers and all proceeds are going to go toward helping future community organizers organize their communities. We’re going to have this cake and eat it, too,” she smiled.

When asked for comments, both John McCain (R AZ) and Sarah Palin (R AK) were unavailable for comment. A lone congressman in Texas was reached and had the following comment: “The only thing that surprises me about this legislation is that it was constitutionally introduced as a bill instead of Obama waiting until elected to make this an executive order."

Published Sat, Sep 6 2008 10:25 AM by thedo


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